The Best Burger I Ever Had

Sometimes people ask me, “Peter, what was the best burger you ever had?”

It was almost a year ago, and yet I remember it like it was yesterday. We are having company over and I’d had burgers on the brain recently. I’d had a discussion with a friend about Kobe beef and was curious to try it, but the price tag…. So maybe a Kobe burger would be more budget friendly.

With tender burgers on the brain, I make my way to Costco to get the meat. Costco isn’t the cheapest, but for the quality, it is the most consistent value. There are always nicely marbled and thick rib-eye steaks. They even had a small chunk of Filet Mignon, a quite spendy cut itself, which I picked up for the wife and I to enjoy in celebration of our Anniversary over the weekend.

No Kobe at Costco, but once in a while you can find USDA Prime, which is usually reserved for Steakhouses. But when it comes to burgers, you are looking more for flavor than tenderness, since the meat is ground anyways. Sirloin is probably the most flavorful steak, and therefore makes a great burger.

Another way to make a good burger great is to grind your own meat. My wife being a pastry chef, she has a nice mixer, and we invested in the meat grinding attachment. Food processors also will work in a pinch, as long as you pulse it lightly. If you let it fly and multi-task, you will be squeezing your burgers onto the grill with a pastry bag. Burger paste is NOT tasty.

I am able draft behind another cart and quickly slide over to the Sirloin department to pick out some nice steaks for conversion into burger heaven.

Once home, I put them in a metal bowl in the fridge. The next day I am at work and have a conversation with my wife, who has just picked the kids up from school. “Honey can you grind the sirloin for the burgers”. She does.

On my way home, she calls and confirms that the meat has been ground. (Don’t worry, this is pre-cell phone laws). Despite the fact that these are not Kobe beef, the fact that they are freshly ground and seasoned, should make for a very tender and delicious burger. I begin to look forward to them.

Upon my arrival, I open the fridge to size up my task. The metal bowl is still there.

And the undisturbed, whole steaks.

“Honey I thought you said you ground the meat,” I say, perplexed.

“I did,” she says, slightly annoyed that I would doubt her word.

I look back at the bowl, at the Sirloin steaks. Wondering: if they are still here, then what did she gr….

THE FILETS!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! “You ground the filet!!” I said frantically, looking at the empty space that formerly held the sealed package.

For a billionth of a second, I slip into denial. I can fix it. I can put it back toget….. “I can’t believe you ground filet mignon!!”

She is incredulous at first. The filet was in a vacu-pak and (label aside) looked like it maybe could have been a sirloin (if you didn’t look at the next shelf down where two sirloin steaks would have been staring you in the face).

I take it hard. I am devastated. My filet…. gone. I go into the garage, as if there, a time machine would await, or a giant “undo” button. But there is no “undo” button. Only tools, laundry and the darkness of my own thoughts. It takes what seems like several minutes, but I finally regain my composure.

“What the hell, should make a damn good burger!” I proclaim. And so it did.

I put the ground sirl…. filet in a mixing bowl, add some pepper and a few drops of Worcestershire sauce, and form my patties. I salt to taste before they go on the grill. Given that we are dealing with a very tender meat here, not too much time on the heat. 4 minutes a side should be plenty, but always test for doneness.

Oh, and you would no sooner smash your patties into the grill grates than you would stab your steak with a fork. It may be hard, and you may have to ask your spouse, significant other or friend to smack you if the spatula gets anywhere near the top of the burgers. Smashing makes the juice come out, leaving even your filet burger as juicy as a shop rag.

So as they are on the grill our guests arrive. Still feeling somewhat scarred from the experience, I recall the episode to our friends with a mixture of bewilderment and joviality.

Then comes the kicker.

One of our guests had just that day received a pink slip, now soon to be in the job market. With that, the rest of the recovery is complete. If I have to serve filet mignon burgers, then dammit, this is the perfect occasion. After all, when life kicks you in the groin, nothing picks you up off the ground and tries to make you stand upright, like a good steak. Even if it is ground first.

I eventually tried a Kobe beef burger (Note: this may be the ONLY thing I advise you to eat without bacon. The chewy and/or crunchy texture of the bacon overtakes the tenderness of the meat. If you need bacon that bad - and nobody here would judge you for that - order it on the side).

But to this day, that filet mignon was the best burger I ever had.

Grilling the Perfect Rib Eye

Ah, Rib Eye.

Some call it the watermelon of beef. I call it the best cut of steak you can get.

True, it is not as tender as the filet mignon and not quite as flavorful as sirloin, but no slab of beef has the balance between tenderness and flavor that the rib eye has. If you were to slice a prime rib before cooking it, you would have a rib-eye steak.

With a steak so perfect, how do you marinade or season it without ruining it or burying the flavor?

When you are pondering how to approach the mighty rib eye, think simple.

3 Ingredients: Meat, beer, kosher salt. That’s it. Put the pepper back. Don’t even think about picking up that lemon. Save the Montreal seasoning for your Porterhouse.

Prep time: 30- 40 minutes. Cook time 10- 12 minutes.

With simple ingredients, attention to quality is crucial. If you have the bankroll and the right meat market go USDA Prime. For the rest of us, you can find the diamond in the rough with a keen eye. When you are shopping for steak, regardless of grade, you are looking for marbling, or striping in the meat. True, this is fat, but fat is what carries your flavor and provides the juiciness. Anything less than an inch thick is for sandwiches (what better sandwich could there be than a rib eye steak on a sourdough roll). I recommend 1¼” to 1½”.

The beer should be light. Mexican lagers seem to do the best job, although you could give an American mass-produced pilsner a better fate than it deserves. Save the Guiness for drinking while you grill; stong flavors will hijack your rib-eye. Then you will be sad.

The salt has to be Kosher. If you don’t have Kosher get it or make something else. No rock salt, table salt, pickling salt. Definitely not saltpeter, considering you are working with open flame. Kosher salt is also known as gourmet salt. The reason is the flavor of the salt hits your tongue more quickly and more distinctly than table salt.

OK, you purchased the Kosher and cursed me under your breath for the additional 49 cents it cost you, but you now have the right ingredients. Now what?

Put the steaks in your marinade container- a Pyrex dish or even Tupperware will do, so long as it has sufficient room for your steaks. Don’t let them cuddle! Nobody likes public displays of affection. Give them their space!

Pour in the beer until the steaks are just past half submerged. Moderately cover the steaks with your Kosher salt. Don’t be bashful. Give them a fair sprinkling. You don’t want them looking like you just pulled them out of the snow, but the white should be visible.

After 15 to 20 minutes flip them and salt again.

I like to salt the side touching the grill first again before popping them on, and then getting the side facing up again, too. This gives it a nice sharpness on the outside to complement the buttery interior.

You want to get the grill nice and hot. After you put the steaks on, leave the lid up. This isn’t a crock pot. You want a sear on the outside to complement the tenderness on the inside. What a nice contrast of flavors and textures!

If you want to impress your friends, spouse or children, put the prettiest side of the meat down first, and half way through the cooking of that side, rotate the steaks 45 degrees for diamond grill marks or 90 degrees for square grill marks.

But how long is half way through?

A 1½” thick steak should grill 6 minutes per side. For each ¼ inch thicker or thinner, reduce or increase grilling time by 1 minute, respectively. You should see juices start to pool on the top. Don’t be a slave to the clock. If the edges start to curl up, flip them right away. Another doneness measure is to touch it and compare it with touching the meat of your palm under the thumb. Relaxed is medium rare, thumb squeezed against index finger gives you well done.

If you still aren’t comfy cozy, use a thermometer. If your guest challenges your man/womanhood, look him or her directly in the eye with a slight squint and a noticible scowl, and ask them if they want steak or jerky. Watch them back off. 135 degrees is what I call medium rare. It will pick up another 5 degrees by the time you open it up. You can always cook something more, but you can never un-cook it.

By the way, if you want your steak well done, don’t waste your money with rib eye. You are better off going with a hamburger. At medium-well, a rib eye is starting to lose its juiciness and tenderness.

When you are satisfied, pull them off with your tongs (not a fork; you wouldn’t stab your children would you?) and place them on a cutting board.

For the next 10 minutes, turn off the grill, sip your beverage of choice, comment on the odd player personnel choices of Al Davis to your friends. But for goodness sake, stay away from the meat!! If you cut into it right off the grill, it will bleed to death in front of your eyes. It is tired from being grilled; let it rest.

For intricate sides that really add that gourmet touch, you’ll have to find another blog. My wife is a professionally trained pastry chef. I am generally discouraged from entering the kitchen for cooking. The best fortune I ever extracted from a cookie: “If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy man. He will find an easier way to do it.”

Go to Trader Joes and get the Gnocci in Gorgonzola. Microwaves in minutes and the Gorgonzola adds a creaminess to the rib eye experience, especially as it mixes with the steak’s own juices. A quick salad, some crusty sourdough bread dropped on the cooling grill for a few minutes, and you are golden.

A little steak geography: A rib eye looks a bit like the continent of Africa. The most tender part of the steak is the northern coast. Morocco, Algeria, Libya and Egypt are your prime real estate. Conquer them first or save them for last. You are the Emperor of your own steak; it’s your choice.

Enjoy!!

Chicken Fried Bone-In Rib-Eye Steak

So a good friend of mine, Alex, moved from the California Bay Area to Texas a while ago. He has settled into his new home in Dallas, so I thought it would be fun to pay a visit.

But what to do in Dallas? My first night there, Alex’s wife Naomi served a tasty chicken dish, and I marveled at her ability to find Chicken in Texas.

Yes, Texas is about beef. So my battle plan was to get some interesting local experiences, some real Texas BBQ, and maybe work in a Kobe beef burger somewhere.

Mission: Accomplished.

I will detail some of these culinary experinces in The Meatery in future posts. For today, we will detail one of the highlights, a 22 oz. Bone-In Rib-Eye steak. Battered and deep fried, that is.

This was acquired at a restaurant called Jasper’s, just outside Dallas, in Plano. http://www.kentrathbun.com/

The neighborhood was pleasant, reminiscent of Walnut Creek in the Bay Area. Jasper’s had a nice ambiance so we put our names down for a table. A glance at the menu….$45. I’m thinking, “I think I’ve paid $48 for a Porterhouse, so I’m not breaking any records….”. The price tag was a bit steep for the budget, but Alex was good enough to point out that this was more than a meal, we were paying for an experience.

I generally try to get a feel for the menu to get a feel for the venue. Gotta be honest. No idea what else was on the menu. There may have been a non-deep fried rib-eye. Perhaps a couple other steaks. Some other food, I guess. To be honest, like a poor high school quarterback, my eyes were locked on the deep fried rib-eye.

When you complain about $6 for a restaurant hamburger, paying $45 for a steak leaves expectations high, even if it is rib-eye. It was a nice novelty idea. But would that be it? Would it be paper-thin? Would it be the standard well d0ne chicken fried leather? This better be good!!

No worries. Tender. Juicy. Crispy. Garlic mashed potatoes coated with a sweet whiskey gravy. The steak was medium rare. Had to write down the name of the Chef: Kent Rathbun. I almost asked for the recipe, but was not strong enough to fight off the urge to request extra gravy.

The nice thing about deep frying, if it is done correctly, is that the end result is a very juicy meat. When you are heated, you sweat. Same deal for the animal in the boiling oil. So the moisture in the meat rushes to the surface, counterbalancing the oil trying to push it’s way in. If cooked at the right temperature, the oil never has enough time to penetrate the meat before it reaches serving temperature, resulting in a clean, juicy and flavorful experience. When you subject the watermelon of beef to this process, my friend, the joy is immeasurable.

The underrated part of this dish, however, was the gravy. A nice balance of sweet and savory, it was a nice compliment to both the garlic in the potatoes, and the steak itself. The breading tended to crack off the meat, but provided that extra element of texture.

So I have made the decision. I don’t live in Dallas. Therefore, I must create my own version of the deep fried rib-eye, complete with whiskey gravy. There will be trial. There will be error. And as a true cook, I’ll be forced to consume my own mistakes. But I will do so in the name of The Meatery, for my carnivorous bretheren.

If I am able to re-create some of the magic, I shall post a recipe both for the beast and the gravy. Stay tuned...

The other impressive experience was a Brazilian BBQ, or Churrascaria. I will detail this experience in another post soon… Photo by Alex Calle via iPhone.